Relationships

There seems to be a lost in the quality of relationships now a days. For example, a close friend of mine is constantly questioning the status between her and the man she has been seeing for the last two years. It started off with the innocence of flirting in the office and soon he asked her out. She happily accepted. Their first date, which to me was a sign of doom to begin with, was a night at the club with other friends. I believe that if a man has true intentions, he will ask you on a proper date. They danced, they drank and eventually they slept together. And what happened next is what defined their future. As he drove her home, he nonchalantly brought up the "So, what are you looking for, a friend with benefits or something a bit serious?" conversation. I am unsure what went through her head as she opened her mouth to answer. As she was sharing this story with me I was flabbergasted. I thought I knew my friend and where she stands as a women with strong morals but put a man into the picture and a woman looses all rationality. Her reply, as subterfuge as it was an attempt to seem more desirable was that "she was down for whatever" Instead of speaking her true feelings; which was that she wouldn't mind taking things slow but that she was not open to being used for such abasing and emotionless acts, she opened the door to all the affliction she now bares.
Two years later she has not gained the title as girlfriend nor his feelings. She is constantly battling with him and her self respect. Their deed is not wham bam thank you mam. They go to the theater, clubbing and have sleep overs, they do all this as "friends". She has proclaimed her interest in him, her desire to be with him in a serious relationship but he has declined. He explained to her that he did not want a relationship, that it was far from his agenda. Usually this conversation, and there has been many alike, ends with her telling him to take a hike and promising herself never to see him again. As I mentioned before this has been going on for two years.
My dear friend has called me late at night crying and feeling insecure. Why doesn't he love me?, and then answering herself with "I'm not pretty enough, he doesn't like my body". As any good friend would do, I have advised her on reasons, galore, on why she should stop seeing him. But then the page turns quickly and she begin's defending him. She adores his qualities. He is blunt and always honest. "Honest?" I ask. "From the beginning he let it be known that he didn't want a relationship and I respect his honesty." she declares. In other words she likes that he is honest with his intentions but see's past his flaw as a man not willing to commit and a man that doesn't have enough compassion to walk away from a women who clearly wants more than he can offer. I believe as many other women with past experiences might, that she thinks she can sleep her way into a relationship with him. There is a concept known in the game of "no strings attached", that if you have sexual relations with someone for a long duration that eventually the feelings will come. This is a dilution. Most people know within 3 to 7 months how they feel about someone. If they haven't fell in love with you after a year, odds are, they never will. There are qualities in people that are appealing to other's which is one of the key factors to falling in love. If those qualities didn't woo them in the first year then you are clearly not what they are looking for.
Many women have become acceptable to being in an undefined relationship, willing to accept what little is offered so that they can win the bigger prize, love. I find that all my single females friends seek a relationship filled with love but in turn usually end up with just another guy interested in becoming "friends". Soon it will be a rare commodity to find a man who will ever want a relationship. Why would a man want the responsibility of a relationship, when they can have all the sex they want with out it.
By the way my friend is no longer seeing that guy, he called things off with her to pursue another women because he wanted to see where things would go. Looks like he is interested in a relationship, just not with her. It is better to make what you want known at the beginning of any relationship and then take it, than to be taken for.