Damaged Goods

You're damaged goods, no longer serving a purpose.
You said your hearts been broken, I say join the circus.
Think you’re the first and only person to be hurt,
Karma is a mother fucker; we are all responsible for her birth.
We reap what we sow because everyone wants the one they love
and never the one that loves them.
It’s a circle and endless chase, a God damn loveless waste.
Your heart’s broken? Well you're a man, a handy man, good with your hands,
Fix it already, don’t just withstand; weeping alone in no man’s land,
If that’s the case, bury your heartless body in the sand, quicksand,
Make it fast, its been years and still you're sad.
She is not the cause of your pain, It’s you dwelling on old memories that's to blame.
Rewind, play it again, it’s a movie for you and the kids.
See I don’t have a heart either, its been broken, but I have a brain, and says “I deserve better”.
I give myself what I deserve, a bump in the road, nigga swerve.
Too late you say, you already crashed, get out and walk, or become junkyard trash.
You say I speak crazy talk when I express myself, I’m not supposed to have feelings nowadays,
it’s bad for the health.
"Did she say relationship and speak of love", oh no, that bitch is crazy, lock her up.
I say what I want, no need to bite my tongue,
don’t like what I say, then turn your face, go on now, walk away..
Any last words, how bout a good bye, no I’m not sad, I would not cry.
I do have one question before I pull the fucking trigger…ever go nite nite nigga, ever go nite nite?

Think Twice

I use to think about you all day long, until you told me I had our love all wrong. You said we were just lovers in a time to be free, but I was in love, how could we think so differently? I still think of you from time to time.. I'll love you forever til the end of my life. Though I've let go of the thought of being with you, I cant let go of the feelings I have for you. My love never fades, nor can I forget, all the memories we shared and the taste of your kiss. I remember your smell, and the sound of your laugh, it was like yesterday when I had you in my grasp. How could you not give us a second thought, like four years meant nothing to you at all? Its okay that your just a memory to me now, I like to remember you for who I thought you were.. Rather than how you turned out.

Remember This

I woke up in a heavy sweat; my clothes were drenched wet along with my sheets. As I sat up in my bed trying to remember the nightmare that had awoke me, I noticed the rain blinding my window. I could hear thunder tare into the sky from afar. I got out of bed knowing I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. I removed the soaked sheets and my clothes and put them to wash. A warm bath sounded soothing to my cold skin; I walked into the restroom to run my bath water when I nearly slipped. There was water everywhere. The tub had a film of dirt at the bottom and it seemed like someone had just recently took a shower. Immediately I became frightened. I grabbed my robe from the back of the restroom door and covered my exposed body. I crept slowly through my house in search for an intruder. I tried to listen for an unfamiliar sound or the sound of breathing but the thunder storm made it impossible. As I reached the living room, I could feel a breeze of the cold wind graze my body. Quickly I scanned the room and saw my patio door ajar. I ran over shutting it quickly and placing the lock bar down. I ran to my room and hid under the bed. I probably just locked a serial murderer in my house rather than out. Oh, what do I do? Just as it occurred to me to retrieve my cell phone and dial 911, I heard footsteps approaching. A voice towering over the two brown shoes called out to me "Where are you bitch?" It took everything inside me not to scream out in fear. I placed my hands tightly over my mouth to mute the fear. He must have had a six sense because he knew I was under the bed. The stranger grabbed my wrist and yanked me out. "I told you I would find your dumb ass!" The entire time I was thinking. What is this man talking about? I never spoke to him before nor has he ever told me anything. Of course I didn't open my mouth to say anything. I must have been in shock because I didn't scream, talk or do anything for that matter. The man pulled out a hunting knife and shoved it as hard as he could into my stomach. Besides the burning, I felt the need to throw up. I fell to my knees but the man still had ahold of my wrist. "You think that's all you had coming? Think again!" He pulled me back up to my feet and pushed me down onto the bed. He held both of my hands down with his left hand and began unbuttoning his jeans. Just then I found my voice and began to scream. His right fist nearly collapsed my cheek. The hit paralyzed me with fear and I laid there motionless as he unwrapped my robe. "You can act like you don't remember me but I'll remind you. I'll remind you all night." he whispered into my ear as he began to run his rough tongue across my earlobe. I closed my eyes as tight as they would shut. This has to be a dream I thought, it just has to be. I don't know this man and there's no way this is happening to me. That's when the reality of it hit me. I began sobbing vigorously. "No, stop" I begged. I tried pushing him off of me but I was bleeding out and becoming weaker by the minutes. "Please stop" I implored. "Please!!" He stamped my face with his fist and the walls began to spin. I had to close my eyes because I was becoming dizzy. "For once, you stupid bitch, be a good girl." He demanded as he pounded my face a few more times. I was beyond fighting back. He removed the knife from my stomach and the blood began seeping out even more. My face felt broken and there was a sharp pain in the back of my eyes. I could barely breathe through my nose. It was bleeding and because I was lying on my back it was draining down my throat. I didn't care what was happening anymore, I just wanted to die. The seconds felt like minutes as I laid there hoping for my last breath. He pulled his pants down and revealed his hard shaft. "You'll remember this, I bet" he said with a sick smirk on his face. I stared into his eyes and traced every detail of his face trying to remember him, but there was no memory of him to be found. I didn't know him. How could I ever know such a monster? I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to see him or what he was doing. It was pointless though, his face is embedded in my mind. I screamed "I don't know you, please stop!" I began to cough, spitting up blood. "Do you know this" he asked. He tried forcing his erected penis between my lips but it wouldn't slide in. "I thought whore's stay wet?" he asked as played with my clit. "Don't worry, I'll get you going. I know what you want." He leaned in closer to my body, bringing his hot breath over my nipples. He opened his mouth wide and took in as much of my breast as he could. He sucked hard and then released only leaving the tip of my nipple at the rim of his lips. His tongue grazed it gently, flicking back and forth. He squeezed my breast in his hand and began nibbling gently at the hard tip. "Please" I cried. He began laughing and replied, "You don't have to beg for it, I'm going to give it to you.” "No, please don't." I pleaded. I couldn't stop crying. My skin now felt as if it had slimy maggots crawling over it. The man ran his other hand down my body and between my legs. Using his fingers he separated my lips and inserted his index finger inside my vagina. I could tell by his expression, he was furious. He wanted me wet and my body was not complying. I shrieked at the unbearable pain as he thrust his hand down on gash. His hand was cover in blood and he grinned with excitement. This man was clearly mental and I was going to die. I wish I could die now. Please Lord, let me die. The man soaked his hand with my blood and then rubbed it between my legs. "There we go, nice and wet. Just the way I remember." He inserted himself inside me with ease. "Oh" he moaned. "Now that’s a good girl. Doesn't it feel good to be a good girl?" My insides began gushing around his pulsating cock. I didn't want this, but I couldn't control what was happening with my body. He kept thrusting his shaft deeper and deeper inside me. All the pain from my face and my stab wound began to fade as I felt my insides melt. This great feeling of pleasure invaded me just as this strange man had. It wasn't something I wanted but I couldn't fight what was happening. I tried to muffle my moans in fear he might pound my face again and I didn't want him to know I was enjoying him. I couldn't fight him anymore. I lifted my legs around his waist allowing his entirety to pleasure me. I knew he was enjoying me as much as much as I was him. I could feel his already firm cock swelling even bigger in me. "You really are a whore!" the man said before placing his warm wet mouth against mine. He slid his tongue against mine in the most sensual way I have ever been kissed. I returned the favor. Our mouths were now locked in seduction and the only sounds you could hear were my drowned cries of passions. He thrashed my soaked walls with every force of his body and I could feel body exploding from inside and like an erupted volcano. I've never experienced anything like this before. I felt my voice wanting to shout but it didn't know what to say so I just moaned. "Now it's my turn sweetheart" the man announced as he placed his knife against my neck. He ran the sharp edge across my neck gashing it from ear to ear. I began gasping for air and choking. I was drowning in my own blood as I fought not to swallow it. The man was still inside me and began to fucking me faster. "Oh yes, that’s it. That’s what I wanted." he moaned into my ear. His moans became denser. My eyes felt heavy and I couldn't keep them open any longer. I prayed my life would end and now my answer had come in. I didn't see any white light approach me. I was surrounded by pitch blackness and silence. And then I was gone. "What a stupid whore." the man said to himself. "There are all the same. They all act as though they don't want it but in the end they fucking love it." The man took a picture out of his wallet and gazed at the young women. He spoke to the image as though she could hear him "I will always love you." He sat at the edge of the bed sobbing. He remembered the coming home late from work and finding his girlfriend dead. She had killed herself by slashing her throat from ear to ear. She had found out a few days before that he had got drunk at the bar and went home with some female. He hated females and blamed them for his actions. If women weren't such whores then his fiancé would be alive still. He vowed to take them out one by one in her memory.

Relationships

There seems to be a lost in the quality of relationships now a days. For example, a close friend of mine is constantly questioning the status between her and the man she has been seeing for the last two years. It started off with the innocence of flirting in the office and soon he asked her out. She happily accepted. Their first date, which to me was a sign of doom to begin with, was a night at the club with other friends. I believe that if a man has true intentions, he will ask you on a proper date. They danced, they drank and eventually they slept together. And what happened next is what defined their future. As he drove her home, he nonchalantly brought up the "So, what are you looking for, a friend with benefits or something a bit serious?" conversation. I am unsure what went through her head as she opened her mouth to answer. As she was sharing this story with me I was flabbergasted. I thought I knew my friend and where she stands as a women with strong morals but put a man into the picture and a woman looses all rationality. Her reply, as subterfuge as it was an attempt to seem more desirable was that "she was down for whatever" Instead of speaking her true feelings; which was that she wouldn't mind taking things slow but that she was not open to being used for such abasing and emotionless acts, she opened the door to all the affliction she now bares.
Two years later she has not gained the title as girlfriend nor his feelings. She is constantly battling with him and her self respect. Their deed is not wham bam thank you mam. They go to the theater, clubbing and have sleep overs, they do all this as "friends". She has proclaimed her interest in him, her desire to be with him in a serious relationship but he has declined. He explained to her that he did not want a relationship, that it was far from his agenda. Usually this conversation, and there has been many alike, ends with her telling him to take a hike and promising herself never to see him again. As I mentioned before this has been going on for two years.
My dear friend has called me late at night crying and feeling insecure. Why doesn't he love me?, and then answering herself with "I'm not pretty enough, he doesn't like my body". As any good friend would do, I have advised her on reasons, galore, on why she should stop seeing him. But then the page turns quickly and she begin's defending him. She adores his qualities. He is blunt and always honest. "Honest?" I ask. "From the beginning he let it be known that he didn't want a relationship and I respect his honesty." she declares. In other words she likes that he is honest with his intentions but see's past his flaw as a man not willing to commit and a man that doesn't have enough compassion to walk away from a women who clearly wants more than he can offer. I believe as many other women with past experiences might, that she thinks she can sleep her way into a relationship with him. There is a concept known in the game of "no strings attached", that if you have sexual relations with someone for a long duration that eventually the feelings will come. This is a dilution. Most people know within 3 to 7 months how they feel about someone. If they haven't fell in love with you after a year, odds are, they never will. There are qualities in people that are appealing to other's which is one of the key factors to falling in love. If those qualities didn't woo them in the first year then you are clearly not what they are looking for.
Many women have become acceptable to being in an undefined relationship, willing to accept what little is offered so that they can win the bigger prize, love. I find that all my single females friends seek a relationship filled with love but in turn usually end up with just another guy interested in becoming "friends". Soon it will be a rare commodity to find a man who will ever want a relationship. Why would a man want the responsibility of a relationship, when they can have all the sex they want with out it.
By the way my friend is no longer seeing that guy, he called things off with her to pursue another women because he wanted to see where things would go. Looks like he is interested in a relationship, just not with her. It is better to make what you want known at the beginning of any relationship and then take it, than to be taken for.

Raindrops

My days and nights don’t feel the same, when you’re not with me, I feel the pain.
The clouds start rolling in… next comes the rain.
That rain will keep on falling down; because you left me stuck on these flooded grounds.
Why do you keep on dragging me through these storms, don’t you know my heart can’t take anymore.
Raindrops keep falling from the sky, teardrops keep falling from my eyes...I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this storm to pass us by.
And every time it seems like the suns about to beam, you come right back again, why can’t you see?
You’re like thunder and lightning that never ends, you’re gone then you come right back again.
You’re gone then you come right back again.

Can't Give Up

I wish you tried a little bit harder, I wish you gave a little more strength.
But you never seem like the strong type, cause you always run away.
You never stay to face the truth, you always run when I say I love you.
You come back just when I think im finally getting over you.
If loves just a thing that you won’t try then I guess I’m just a girl wasting her time…
What am I suppose to do if all I think and do and feel..is loving you?
Tell me, what am I to do with out you.
And I wish, you loved me, cause I love you.
And I wish you thought about me cause I think of you.
And what am I suppose to do with all this love that you don’t want and I can’t give up?

Ticking On By

I'm just sitting here all alone thinking about how things use to be....hows things use to be baby, when it was just you and me.

We use to spend so much time together, just hanging out doing whatever.

We use to laugh together, we were passionate lovers.

I was yours and you were mine...and we were each others favorite pass time.

But now...time keeps on ticking on by, ticking on by and I'm wondering, why?

I thought our love was meant to be, but with time it only seems to get weak.

You use to put a smile on my face with just the presence of you in my everdays, and I feel like I'm losing what use to be my world and you act like you no longer want me as your girl.

Now...time keeps on ticking on by, ticking on by and I'm wondering, why?

I thought our love was meant to be, but with time it only seems to get weak.

Did something happen along our way,to make your love for me just fade? Is there some one new, that's made you stray?

I'm just sitting here alone just thinking about the ways things are, thinking baby....I no longer want this part. You act like you don't want me, and though we are still together, I always feel lonely.

And since I no longer know my role, I will simply say goodbye baby, I have to go.